This lady sure as hell don't like precum!

This is the first of many new articles written by your Humpettes on what women like. Feel free ladies out there reading the site, comment as you will. We are giving you our perspective but keep in mind all women are different…

So, having said all that, do women like precum?

I have to say yes and no….

Ok, there’s two parts to this one (maybe three).

I will venture to say that MOST of the women who LIKE precum like it because they enjoy sex, they enjoy you, and they know what they’re doing.

Personally, I like precum because of a few reasons.

-It’s an indicator that you’re turned on and I’m doing a good job

-It’s a nice lubricant for oral sex, hand jobs, and sex (note here that a gal can get prego from precum so if you’re not protecting yourself via birth control I wouldn’t recommend intercourse).

-It most often doesn’t taste like anything and you can play with it in lots of different ways.

It’s not all on the women though, a big factor in whether or not women will enjoy YOUR precum depends on whether or not it tastes good. The only time I don’t like precum is if it smells, tastes foul, or is really, really thick. Some men have thick precum when they drink a lot of alcohol, do drugs, or eat a lot of protein. Genetics do play a part here, some men are just engineered that way. It’s not a big deal and it’s definitely within your control.  Here are a few ideas for you if you’ve been told it’s not pleasant: Precum Taste.

Which leads me to my second part. What if she DOESN’T like your precum? If she doesn’t like your precum do the ‘test’ and make sure it’s not funky. Smell it, feel the consistency, and (ready for this) do the taste test. Alter your diet a tad then try her again. If it’s not your stanky precum that’s the problem you may find that some girls just plain ol don’t like precum. They don’t like to get sticky, they’re not all that adventurous in bed, and you may have to pester them for sex a lot of the time. It’s not that she’s a prude, she may just not be as sexually experienced as you or other girls you’ve been with.

Ok, so that brings me to yet another part of this question…

So what if you have a gal that doesn’t like your precum and it ain’t because of the taste.

Help explore her sexuality. Do things that she likes; pleasure her as much as you can. By doing this you’re turning sex into a positive, fun, and orgasmic experience for her. This may take a few months of unselfish lovins but I guarantee if you do a lot to please her she’ll want to do the same for you. It will definitely pay off. Also, if you have a chick that’s hard to warm her up, do a lot more to try to turn her on. She may need a little romantic coaxing to get her started. Do whatever it takes to make her WANT sex from you, and don’t take it personally if she doesn’t want it all the time. The worst thing you could do is give her guilt trips or complain she’s not giving you enough sex. This is the opposite of helping your sex life!

Now, once you get her liking and looking forward to sex slowly start to ask her to do things for you. “Can you put it in your mouth for just a little bit,” something like that. Use positive reinforcement to tell her how much you love what she’s doing (even if she’s not doing it exactly right). She’ll start associating your precum with the great job she’s doing and begin liking it. At least, that’s my take on it.

Women out there… feel free to give our Humpers your take on if women like precum, why or why not, and how to get them to like it.

How to pull her hair and make her like it. Women may wear the pants in the relationship but I’ll bet you my favorite Daniel Craig dildo that they love to be submissive in bed. How best do you establish yourself as her daddy? Reach down, grab it, and have your way with it… still talking about her hair here people.

I know that most men are apprehensive about reaching in for fear of her reaction. Trust me, if your lady ain’t into it yet, she will be by time you’re done.

So, if you’ve never pulled a chick’s hair, or don’t know if you’re doing it right, then perk up… in order to get her attention you’ll need to reach in for the kill, but not the dead zone. The scalp is a very sensitive patch of skin housing over a hundred thousand hair follicles. Fuck this up and she’ll either hate it forever or turn around and deck you one. Pulling in the wrong spot can hurt like hell and last time I checked that was not a turn on.

First things first: you want to grab at the root, not the length of the hair. Grabbing the hair at its length is something you do in grade school right along with gleeking and purple nurpling. Root, root, root. When you pull the hair at its ends it is not a pleasant, “Pull my hair, Papi!” sensation. It is an, “Owe! Get the fuck off me!” sensation.

Second is location, location location,… is there an echo in here? Grab the hair by the root at the base of the head. There are two reasons for this besides it being fucking hot as hell. A woman often styles her hair in the front so if you pull it you’re messin’ with the do! Another, it hurts like a fucking whore. The top and sides of the scalp are extremely sensitive and have less hair. Do not pull them. I repeat, do not pull them (echo??). The base of the scalp is where you go for more control and more hair.

Third, if you’re going in friggin do it right! When I say “Grab’’ I mean grab a fist FULL of hair. Don’t Nancy around with a few locks. Quantity here, Humpers.

So now you’re at the base of her head with a fist full of hair right at the root… now what? Do you yank it? No. You ball it up in your fist, gently at first, and guide her (i.e. pull). If you want to pull her head back, do it but do remember that it’s attached. You don’t want to pull anything off or out. Chances are you’re a bit stronger than her so easy does it. I should warn you here that if you feel small plastic pieces or metal pieces you’ve reached into extension territory. Some women add extensions to their hair to make it longer. My advice on this matter… back out slowly and don’t try it again, not unless she liked it and doesn’t mind the possible risk of losing some pieces. Also, if you remember, take off any jewelry as it tends to get stuck. There’s nothing romantic about having to cut your watch from outta her fro during hot passionate sex. I mention it because it’s happened and because I’m lookin’ out!

If you learn to master this little trick there won’t be much else you’ll have to do to get her in the mood. Speaking of mood, squeeze a tad tighter to roughen the mood or pull her closer… you’re in the driver’s seat now. Who be wearin’ the pants now, biznch!!

But when do I pull her hair you ask?? Well, anytime. Kissing, foreplay, sex, oral sex, whenever. Pull it to remind her that you know how to take what you want. I mean that in the way of whether you’re going in for a sexy smooch or you’re riding her doggie style. Grabbing a fist full of her hair sends a mix of sensations down her spine. Women love to have their hair played with because the tingly sensations it creates both relaxes and de-stresses them. Mix that tingly sensation with the passion during sex and you’ve got one submissive chick. Try it when she goes down on you to give her a little sensation while she’s doing you right. Just don’t (unless she’s into it) hold her or push her to take more of you in her mouth. Not unless you want her to barf on your cock or never trust you again.

Do it right and you can’t go wrong. A man who knows how and when to pull hair, dominates in bed.

Try it and get back to me… smooches! Happy Humping!!

This month we’ve chosen Hollywood & Divine’s Kissable Warming Massage Oil as our Product of the Month for March.

Your local Fredrick’s of Hollywood should have it for around $12.

A small price to pay for a yummy addition to your happy humping!

I found this little gem while I was doing some naughty shopping at Fredrick’s. The girl at the counter made me put it on my hand, blow on it and lick it.

To my surprise it was not only deliciously scented but it tasted like a yummy, sugary popsicle!

The only concern I had was that it looked really thick and anyone dealing with personal massage oils these days know that it’s better to go longer with a water based product. There’s more slip to water based products as well as oils, after a while, tend to become a hot sticky mess. The little Fredrick’s girly assured me it was water based and in the normal rush that I find myself in most of the time I bought it immediately.

Upon reading the back of the product later I realized what my little friend had mistaken for water based was actually ‘water soluble’… not the same thing.

So, if you all rush out to buy this little addition to your toy box I’d recommend the following:

-DO use it for a teasing, tantalizing body massage. Feel free to lick, blow, bite, suck and hickey all body parts with this sweet little product. It is absolutely great.

-DON’T use it for penetration. It is far too thick and too scented. You want to come out of this a sex god not a sticky swamp thing so keep that in mind. Not to mention most women are pretty sensitive to fragrance in their lady parts so use caution.

-DO use it for oral sex! It is an awesome  addition to oral sex on both your parts! This maybe something to use for those humper’s out there who hate to give oral… same with your lady, if she hates giving oral slather some of this deliciousness on your shaft and your boys and let her lick it off. She’ll love it.

-DON’T forget it’s warming!!! If you are using it to give oral to each other don’t forget to stop licking and take a few moments to blow on it. The warming sensation is enough to make you cum right then and there.

-DO enjoy!

No need to thank me, Happyhumping!

This question always springs up when talking to men about sex. My question is, how could we be a site about humping without bringing it up?

 The truth is yes, yes it does, but not necessarily the way you think. The following is my take on size (plus a few outside sources)…

Size matters for different pleasures.

Let me start by pointing out the fact that the ‘average’ dick size is 5.2 inches. That being said, lets continue…

I want to start with anal sex, not just because its the first letter of the alphabet. Anal sex, for example, needs to be done with a larger penis. Most women who haven’t had anal sex, or only had it with smaller dick may disagree.

It makes perfect sense to think that a smaller cock in the ass would be more comfortable. Well, no, its not. Small cocks in the ass just feel like a little turd you want to squeeze out. Sorry for the horrible mental picture but it’s really quite uncomfortable. A larger cock actually gives a woman better anal sex, reaching and stroking her spots (yes, plural) inside her vagina through that thin wall that separates it from the rectum.

Not to say that our Humpers out there with normal to small cocks can’t rock it in the anal sex arena, I’m just stating that this is one spot where size does tend to matter, not talking about skill here, just pure size. Argue amongst yourselves.

Next is for vaginal sex… size matters yet again. Interestingly enough it seems that most women are more comfortable with a smaller cock. Here are some of the more common reasons:

1. The most straight forward reason is that one of the easiest spots on a woman is located near the opening of the vagina. The g-spot. With a smaller cock, this particular spot is hit more times by the head of the penis. Thus, more orgasms. HooAHH! If you are lost when it cums to hitting the g-spot either by finger or by cock, watch this: 

2. Another, deeper reasoning is that statistically men with smaller cocks are better lovers. They have better attitudes toward sex due to their inadequacies about their size. If you really want to get into underlying issues, smaller men tend to go about sex more emotionally. They appreciate every lay they can get due to their own issues of embarrassment, humility, and modesty. They also feel they have to make up for their size in other ways, therefore they do everything and anything to make it enjoyable to their lady.

To throw it out there, statistically smaller men are also less likely to cheat.

In short, they know how to work the FUCK out of what momma gave ’em. Yes, there is the “is it in?” factor that all smaller men fear. But, women only think it if you’re not working your goods. Go in and hump her like a pooch humps a stuffed animal and all you’ll get is asked to pass the nail file from the night stand.

But getting back to it, larger men tend to go into the bedroom with the attitude that they are doing her a favor. Not to say that all men with large cocks are bad lovers, they just haven’t had to work at ensuring their next lay their whole lives. It’s been my experience that men with larger dicks don’t know how to work it at all, they jam it in and out, don’t hit a fucking spot with any kind of alphabetic letter, let alone the ‘G’, and often can’t stay hard for long. But that’s just me.

So, we’ve covered anal and vaginal, but what about oral? Oral is definitely a matter of taste. Each woman has their own preferences when it comes to sucking dick. Personally, I like them all sizes, but if the urethral opening is larger then my eye, it ain’t fitting in my mouth. So sad.