This Chap knows how to do it!!

I dont think there is anything hotter during sex than a guy fully grabbing onto your hips and taking control. I don’t mean hands just laying on the hips, but full on grabbing. If she has thicker thighs then you will get a good handful. It is not only sexy while she is on top of you, but it is even sexier when you are on top of her and take control by doing this. Sex is a battle for control, or atleast it should be sometimes. She be certain to cum from you randomly doing this and fucking the shit out of her.

Top 10 list of what she’s begging you to do and why/how:

 10. Dirty Talk – learn it, love it. Without it, you’re dead in the water… Here’s how to do it: How to Dirty Talk

9. Do naughty things in public – NOT saying you have to go all the way, but while at a friend’s dinner party pull her into a back hallway and make out. Make sure you let her know “yup, can’t have this til you get home”

8. Smack her ass – don’t make her call ya Daddy, but when you’re getting hot and heavy give her a good open handed smack on the ass. One of the best things to do with spanking is after you do it, thrust harder… believe me she’ll get to like a good spanking soon enough!

7. Rough her up during sex – We’re not talking about beating her silly, we’re talking about throwing her up against the wall during sex. Pick her up, take her around the house and fuck her in uncomfortable places. Also, place her body yourself. During sex put her in the positions you want. Don’t wait for her to move, grab her ankles and make it happen.

6. Take what you want – while she’s on the phone or in the middle of doing laundry, sneak up behind her and start undressing her. Another good one is while she’s driving reach over and begin playing with her. Going up her skirt or down her pants without her permission (even better if she resists a little) is hot as hell… as is desiring her so much that you’ll take her anywhere at anytime (Hot midnight sex). I should clarify here that I’m talking about someone who has, and is still having, consensual sex with you… I’m not telling you to take what you want from someone who doesn’t want you. Just thought I should throw that in there.

5. Pull her hair – afraid to grab those locks? Here’s how to do it: How to pull her hair and make her like it. Pulling her hair can add soooo much to a sexual experience please try this one fo sho!

4. Play with her asshole – the asshole is a ‘taboo’ place. Graze it, lick it, tickle it, rub your dick around it or stick a finger in it, whatever you feel comfortable doing, just don’t ignore this incredible passion spot. Just the idea of you touching it could be a turn on to her if she’s never been touched there before.

3. Hold her down – during sex put her arms behind her head and hold them there. Make sure your grip is hard enough to be dominating but not hurtful. You could also experiment with bondage if you feel comfortable (Bondage) just remember to use your safeword and take it easy first time around. Again, just for the psycho’s out there I’ll explain that this should be done with someone who is having consensual sex with you.

2. Tease – don’t always give it up, desire is a wonderful thing. Don’t always give her what she wants right away, tease her. If she says she wants your cock inside her, do everything but. When she’s ready to explode give it to her. If she says she wants to suck your cock pull her hair so she can’t quite get her lips around it. You catch my drift. Just don’t drag it out, give in eventually.

1. Dominate – either while kissing or making love, slide your hand around her neck and gently hold her. Squeeze gently, we’re not talking about erotic asphyxiation here (although some people dig that) I’m just talking about a heavy hand to dominate her.  The neck signifies slavery, enslave her for that evening and see where things go.

Now that you’re a badass in bed, hope you do some damn fine HappyHumping!

One of the most fun things about sex is when and where to have it. In this particular article, if you haven’t guessed, we’ll be talking about the WHEN to have sex and how it’ll benefit you, your lady, and your insomnia (should you have it). If you’re with a partner who is just as in love with sex as you are, then this can strengthen a relationship and build comradery. It can also improve relationships should you have one that’s going down the shitter. Sex, although we like to dismiss it as not the most important thing about a relationship, can make or break ya… even on the women’s end.

As a woman, I am familiar with what we do best which is deny things to ourselves that we know deep down are true. By that I mean it’s possible a woman may not admit she’s being ignored, or has a dull sex life, or even admit that she cares about such things. She may not admit it, but she knows it. And guaranteed if she ever gets that doting, sensual, and thrilling sex life she never knew she always wanted, she will find happiness and contentment. So, we may not admit it, as we don’t want to seem like perverted sex addicts… but sex IS a lot of everything.

Having said all that, I’ll move on. As mentioned before, I’m totally pissed about this insomnia situation that’s been plaguing me. Instead of sleeping, I’m left laying awake at night and thinking. Part of all the thinking has been about sex. Hey, I own a sex advice column what else am I supposed to think about??? Well, it was during all this new thinking time that it crossed my mind to miss having midnight sex… something awful actually. Midnight sex was always great when I’d find myself unsatisfied with the temperature in the room, the itchiness of the sheets, the constant hamster turning on its wheel in my head. All of it. Sex is the ultimate no brainer. If you want to de-stress and clear the mind of all your worries, sex is the answer. Not to mention with sex your senses rule all and knock that damn furry bitch off the squeaky wheel faster than you can say “Brooke Burke has a bodacious bottom.” Another plus, it also doesn’t hurt that it takes physical movement which will/should knock you right out.

Midnight sex is a great way to solve a multitude of problems. It’ll cure insomnia (I believe), please your partner (and yourself), and keep things spontaneous and passionate in the relationship. I’m not talking about waiting til 2 in the morning to start doing it. Midnight sex is a sleepy and unplanned kind of passionate love making.

"Hi, ya'll! I'm Wanda!"

If you want to try midnight sex then here are some tips from yours truly. You first need to stroke and kiss your partner awake. What I mean by that, gently coax her out of their sleepy realm with soft, caressing touches and gentle kisses all over her body. Don’t, and I stress DO NOT, jump on her, shove your tongue down her throat and start humping her like a damn redneck with a Realdoll named Wanda. That’s just weird. You do actually want your gal conscious when you’re performing the act.

What I HIGHLY recommend, is that midnight sex begin from behind your partner. Gently coax her out of sleep with all those sweet, sensual movement’s we spoke of above. Kissing the back of her neck, down her spine, or around her hip bones will surely bring her out of Dreamy Land and put her in LaLa Land. Hopefully, after a few minutes she’ll start to moan or stir a little bit. If she’s still snoring then replace her Ambien tomorrow night with a Tylenol cuz bitch is one solid sleeper.

But once you’re confident she’s waking up a little, you’ll know this because she may start reciprocating with some grinding or touching of her own, then start to undress the parts you need. Slide your hand to move whatever she’s sleeping in just out of the way enough for you to enter her. I don’t recommend fully undressing her as this will wake her all the way up and that’s not so hot at this point in the hot midnight sex session.

Ok, so she is exposed enough, here is when you gently slide in for some sweet side sex. After a few minutes of slow, rhythmic side sex she’ll definitely be awake. If you’re both into it, stick with it. If things start to get heavy then feel free to mount. The rest is up to you. Just don’t get too lax and forget to use your methods of protection against pregnancy (whether you pull out and pray or wrap it up).

Try the hot midnight sex trick and see if it doesn’t cure your insomnia.

Also, being a temporary insomniac has left me thinking about the few fella’s I’ve dated who #1, only had sex before bed, as if was the glass of warm milk they had to drink to put them to sleep, and #2, only had sex in the bed. If you are one of these Humpers that feel restricted to a sex schedule in the sack, then try to switch it up a bit… babysteps. We’re going to try at first to have hot sex at unconventional times to get you out of that comfort zone and keep some of the passion alive. For right now you can keep it in the sack if that’s where you’re most comfortable but be prepared, once you’ve ditched the sex schedule and you’re a midnight sex god, we’ll be changing up the location!

Try it and get back to me. Happy Humping!