Happy Humper Sex Advice for Men By Women » Thoughts

Crazy Chicks and Sex

Ms.Zombie — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 20:59:29 +0000

She is so sexy, but she will eat you for dinner as well

I was watching the movie May the other day and it hit me that psycho can sometimes come off as sexy. But why? Is it the danger that something horribly wrong could happen? Is it the part of us that wants to experience the unknown.

Either way the second thought to this is why would you want to be with someone who is completely off.

I mean don’t get me wrong I am not a sane child at all, but I know I am not totally crazy. I realized it has to be the sex. So, if you are fucking a crazy chick just let her know you are only fuck buddies, cause if she falls too much for you, you might lose you hands, and then how would you be able to jack off?

Treat Your Girl Like a Drag Queen Would

Ms.Zombie — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 20:55:48 +0000

If She can make her feel special, so can you!

I’ve noticed while watching tv and going out, that drag queens know how to treat a lady and be a lady. What the fuck could I mean? Well, drag queens are very witty and bitchy but they know manners and are polite at the same time. I have gotten complements from them without coming off as sleazy, and at the same time make me feel very pretty and sexy. You don’t need to be in drag make up to do this for a girl. Next time you have time really look at the underlining behavior and speech of a drag queen and maybe you can pick up how to smoothly make a girl feel special

Grab Those Hips For Power Sex

Ms.Zombie — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 20:50:09 +0000

This Chap knows how to do it!!

I dont think there is anything hotter during sex than a guy fully grabbing onto your hips and taking control. I don’t mean hands just laying on the hips, but full on grabbing. If she has thicker thighs then you will get a good handful. It is not only sexy while she is on top of you, but it is even sexier when you are on top of her and take control by doing this. Sex is a battle for control, or atleast it should be sometimes. She be certain to cum from you randomly doing this and fucking the shit out of her.

Jacking off in front of her

Ms.Zombie — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 20:44:58 +0000

Show her who boss

Some times it is sexy to watch a guy jack off. I’m not saying surprise her while she is sleeping and hover over her as your doing it (unless it is a game and that’s what you are into)but I think cranking one out in front of her during sexy time is not a bad thing. She will probably get really turned on and start playing with herself as well.

Thought of the Day: High School Drama

Ms.Zombie — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 20:40:36 +0000

Don't be THAT guy!

If you do not get any from a girl, no matter how much effort you put in, don’t ever let her know how much you are let down by it. Not only do you come off as sad and high school like, but you are losing any type of friend ship or chance of hooking up with her in the future. I want to always have the upper hand, so let her know you had a great time and that next time you would like to hang out with her alittle more. Never ever tell her that she waisted your time, unless you wana come off as an ass.

MsZombie’s thought of the Day

Lady Love — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 02:51:02 +0000

I hate the fact that blow up dolls either look surprised or like they are trying to take a deep shit.

The other day while my fellow humpers/humpettes and I were out, we stopped at a truckers titty bar (that just so happened to have a sex shop in the corner). The selection of toys was ok I guess. However I couldn’t help but notice in the corner there was a large box with a face in it. As it was, it looked like an angry Steven Tyler. It was fucking scary! How people get off to looking at a face like that is what gets me. Plus why spend all that time into blowing something up, fucking it, cleaning it out, and then deflating it. I would rather use my hand in that case. If you have ever used one of these dolls I would love to hear from you and what your experience was like. Email me at Mszombiehhh@gmail.com

MsZombie’s Thought of the Day

Lady Love — Fri, 28 May 2010 02:36:53 +0000

It should not matter how mad you get at your girl, never hit below the belt.

Well you should not hit her any ways, but I mean with your words.

One way to ruin a relationship is by letting anger get to you and saying the wrong things. When we open up to you, it is because we trust you…

When you get pissed off don’t throw all those intimate things she told you in her face, especially when they have nothing to do with the topic at hand or even you. You will push her away and make her rethink the relationship. It is understandable to want to hurt someone after they hurt you, but when you start hitting their vulnerable areas you can lose it all.

MsZombie’s Thought of the Day

Ms.Zombie — Tue, 18 May 2010 13:14:33 +0000

The three day rule is a stupid one. For those of you who don’t know what the three day rule is, it is when you wait three days to call the girl after the first time she goes on a date with you. A lot of times though it is used after the first time she has sex with you. Why is this stupid? Because if you like her, call her or else she will probably move on in those three days. Not that she is a whore, but basically you just made her feel used and why would someone want to put up with that? If you don’t like her then you shouldn’t call ever because then you are leading her on. See it is a lose/lose situation. Plus on top of all of that you should not listen to rules. Rules where made to be broken damn it.

And don’t give me that absence makes the heart grow fonder crap. It does when you have that relationship between you, but after the first date it does nothing. You are trying to see if its worth building that relationship with her, why fuck it up in the beginning. By day two she is probably bad mouthing you to all her friends and deleting your number. So if you want her to come back for more call her later on the first day, even if it is just to see if she is ok. If not just drop her, but don’t let her wait around in limbo to see if she made the cut.

MsZombie’s Thought of the Day

Ms.Zombie — Thu, 13 May 2010 14:21:24 +0000

Driving home tonight I witness a guy trying to pick up a girl by “racing”.

Now let me set the mood for you. I’m completely bummin’ it. I have my glasses on, barely any make up, a hoodie and my hair is pulled up in a pony tail. I have a crappy car as well. I am at a stop light when I realize the car next to me looks like it’s doing the “car potty dance”. It is just going back and forth. Now his car also sucks and has a wanna-be thug in it. So I think to my self ” This is odd” and it was cause who cant just stop at a red light.

Well the light turns green and of course I go. This guy is looking at me trying to get me to race him and also get my number. It was really really sad. I just ignored it and put cruse control on 47 and then really sad truth came out. This fucker kept trying to race me. He stayed next to my car for 7 minutes. It showed me how desperate he really was to get some.

I guess the reason why I am telling you this is to show the stupidity of trying to pick up girls in a car. It’s dumb and more likely then not you wont get anything from it. Just looking out for you gent’s out there.

MsZombie’s Thought of The Day

Ms.Zombie — Thu, 06 May 2010 03:37:00 +0000

Boys, here is a giant hint. If you call her and she does not pick up after the third time you called and/or doesn’t return your call or text, she is not into you. Don’t take it personal, you just where not her thing. I bet you hate it when a chick just wont take a hint that you don’t want anything to do with her, well it is the same with girls. Take the hint and move on. If you keep going all your doing is looking like an ass. Their are plenty of fish out there, so don’t fret wise one, you will find some one sooner or later.