Happy Humper Sex Advice for Men By Women » JustAddAlcohol

Spank Bank Chick of the Month: Bridgette Wilson

JustAddAlcohol — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 22:45:16 +0000

September means football has started, both college and professional. The weather is cooling down, in most places. The kiddies are back to school. And what was the best part about going back to school? The end to the three month absence of that one hot teacher you would do naughty things with. And who’s the hottest school teacher ever? That’s right…. That Veronica Vaughn. And even though she, real name Bridgette Wilson, has not been in the public eye and getting herself stuck in hairy positions (unless you count the sweater vest that her husband, Pete Sampras, wears on a daily basis), she still has a bangin’ body, and yes, I would like to see her beasts. Triple threat here guys! She is super sexy, she can act, and she’s completed two studio albums. What does she sing? Who cares?! Take her to karaoke night down the street, get her drunk, and then head back to your place so she can take your ass to class and teach you a thing or two that would put your Sex Ed teacher to shame. Veronica, Mrs. Wilson when you’re in detention, you ARE one hot piece of aiss. And that’s why are this months winner of Spank Bank Chick of the Month. Congrats! Now I have to clean up my mess. My pen exploded.

Mayra Veronica: God Bless America

JustAddAlcohol — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 01:30:55 +0000

Our Spank Bank Chick of the Month:

Mayra Veronica

The month of July reminds us of many things. Sitting in a leather couch is like sitting to the old-school fly catching tape, it’s not worth the $1.50 you spent on that popcicle because half of it melted onto the ground, and keeping baby powder handy is muy importante.

But the first week of July reminds us, even with recent struggles, how awesome this country is. It’s also a time to remember those who make the sacrifices to make sure our independence is preserved and kept sacred.

It’s at those time, for those individuals, that it’s important to maintain a quality spank bank. Well fellas, let me introduce you to the hottest pin-up girl that is hitting the middle east harder then car-bombs. Mayra Veronica may be cuban-born, but she has put ample amounts of time and energy into lifting the spirits of our military members on numerous USO tours.

With all that aside, she’s a bombshell. She was voted of one the Top 100 sexiest women, by FHM, and has been featured in countless commercials. Did I mention she’s really freakin’ hot? Definitely worth a google or two. To the men, and lesbians, that are serving in our armed forces overseas, left with nothing but a magazine, a bottle of Jergens, and that “sock,” we here at HappyHumper.com salute you. Of course we salute with our left hand, because our right hand is kinda busy right now.

Salma Hayek: MILF!

JustAddAlcohol — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 12:54:09 +0000

Our Spank Bank Chick of The Month:

Salma Hayek

Ok, so as soon as I think Salma Hayek, four things come to mind. First, the movie Desperado with Antonio Banderas, beauty is the best word to describe her in that flick. Second, another Robert Rodriguez movie, From Dusk Til Dawn, starring Quentin Tarantino along side George Clooney. Large boner is the best way to describe my reaction to watching her strip-dance in that movie. Third, loving the fact that she still looked hot as hell even when she gained the baby-weight. Although, that may be a biased opinion because I like ‘em thick, if you know what I’m sayin’. You know, YOU KNOW! Yeah, ok. And fourth, I will always wear a rubber when I’m fuckin’ celebs cause now that crazy bitch won’t stop callin’ me for child support. I love ya Salma, and you’re fine as hell, but I want a blood test first. I aint no sucka. Anyways, Salma, Ms. Hayek if your nasty, has stood strong against the test of time (you know, pot-belly, saggy boobs, droopy ass, wrinkles, busted toes) and continues to light up a room with her only-the-gods-could-have-created-this-chick physique and charm. For that reason, we salute you. Let’s make another baby Salma, you’re still beautiful with a lil’ extra cushion and I’ll still be spankin’ it even if it looks like you’re gonna give birth to a baby whale. Plus pregnant-Salma has retarded-huge boobies! Spank Bank, count it!