Erectile Dysfunction or Performance Anxiety?

“How do you know if you have ED or if you just have performance anxiety? The last couple of relationships started with a short period of what I thought was ED. After the first couple of nights with them i was fine and had a normal, happy sex life. I can masturbate and get an erection even during kissing or touching but once in bed I’m limp. I’m single now, but this plays on my mind, and is preventing me from dating.” (Aaron, 42)

 

Madam Cougalicious says:

Sorry to say that you are your own worst enemy.  You are causing yourself to go limp by putting too much pressure on yourself to perform.  Get your head (and I mean the one on your shoulders) out of your pants and let the one in your pants handle intimacy.  ED does not come and go.  I know this for a fact as I dated someone with ED for over three years.  If you have doubts, checkout WebMD.com for a quiz on ED.

MsZombie says:

         Ok so what I think it’s performance anxiety (which btw is part of ED), and it is not the worst thing in the world to have. A lot of guys actually get this, just most won’t admit. Hell even girls sometimes get it too but we don’t have a cock so it doesn’t show.

 Let’s think about this: Right before first time sex what is going through your head? Is it sexy thoughts or are you scared you might not live up to her past partners? Are you thinking about fucking or rejection? A lot of times this is the key factor in performance anxiety, hence the word anxiety. Fear can cause a lot of problems, including sex.

  Another thing that might be on your mind is the final goal. Sometimes you guys are so gun ho for cumming that it stresses you out and then your little buddy goes limp. Instead of focusing on busting a load, focus more on what is going on. Think more on how good and tight her pussy feels, and how great her tits look bouncing around instead of trying to get yourself to cum.

 Now there is no cure for this really, most doctors just help you refocus your attention to where it should be. You could also try more extreme methods like hypnosis, but that isn’t proven either. My biggest advice is relax. You don’t have to be an all star in bed your first time, just have fun. Trust me; most women know sex is not going to be the best first thing around.

LadyLove says:

Dear, dear Aaron. It’s all in your head buddy. I’m sorry to say that you are in control at this point. My advice to you is that you may want to try a Viagra, or one of the newer drugs, to get you past those first few nights. After that you’re golden, right? Don’t stress it anymore, not when there are drugs out there to help. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. Women go through this too, but like MsZombie says, you can’t tell because we’re dickless. We experience by not being able to get wet or get off. Often times, sex then becomes painful can cause many other problems. So we can totally relate. Don’t forget to read some of our other articles on first time sex, or how to have sex, to give yourself the extra confidence. Also, trim your boys up real nice and give yourself more confidence.